


Even The Popular Girl Has Problems

by Dark_blob



Category: Be More Chill
Genre: Bad Parenting, Be More Chill - Freeform, Depression, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, might delete later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-11 23:45:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19120171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dark_blob/pseuds/Dark_blob
Summary: This is my first fanfiction I’m posting. I apologize if I didn’t tag this well, constructive criticism is welcome, but no hate.This is my unpopular head canon that Chloe is depressed and whatnot.Saying constructive criticism while thinking about what I’ve written I can see that I am bad at this. So like sorry?b





	1. Falling Apart

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warnings. Self Harm, Eating disorder, and a bad dad-daughter relationship, small bit of abuse? Again I apologize if I did not fill this out well.

The stall reeked of stomach acid and half digested food. Chloe knelt over the toilet gagging with her fingers shoved down her throat. She had wanted to tell her friends but then they all found out about michaels self harm scars and she didn’t want to add on to that. The day she “first” self harmed was on the first day she had gotten called a slut, when that happened she had punched herself repeatedly until Brooke found her. Brooke made her promise to stop punching herself and for the most part she did, but now she was anorexic and bulimic. She was 5’6 and she was 110 pounds. She was surprised her friends hadn’t said anything about how thin she was. 

She was out to lunch with friends and after eating she excused herself to the bathroom to do her usual routine. This was how bad it had gotten. She couldn’t even wait until she got home. She was so focused on emptying the contents of her stomach that she didn’t hear Brooke knock on the stall door.

“Chloe?.....” 

Chloe jumped. Her mind racing. 

“What.......” she said. Her voice slightly scratchy. 

“Are you okay? Your stall smells like vomit.” Brooke said worriedly.

“Oh yeah I’m fine, I ate something that my stomach just didn’t agree with.”

Brooke didn’t look as convinced as Chloe would have hoped but she didn’t ask her anything else. 

“Well is you’re not feeling good then we can go home. I can come hang out with you”

“No brooke I’m fine really.” She wanted to tell her the truth so bad but she just couldn’t. 

“If you say so”

“Hey Brooke I think I’m gonna get going. Tell the others I had to leave because I didn’t feel good” 

“Are you sure Chloe?”

“Yeah Brooke I’m sure” and with that Chloe left the bathroom and then headed straight for the door. 

While driving she was hit with a wave of dizziness and nausea. Her car swerved as she regained focus. Once she arrived to her always empty home she got out of her car and stumbled to the door where she struggled to pull out her keys. Once the door was open she rushed inside slamming the door shut but not locking it. She beelined right to the stairs and too her bathroom where she knelt down to the toilet. She vomited. It burned, it smelled, it had gotten to the point that she couldn’t even keep food down. Even when she wanted to keep it down she couldn’t. 

————————————————————————————————————

Brooke was worried about Chloe so when Chloe left Brooke went back to her friends and excused herself before heading to her car and driving to Chloe’s. When she arrived at Chloe’s something felt very off. She walked to the door and rang the doorbell. No answer. She tried the doorknob and was surprised to find it was unlocked. When she got inside she heard someone vomiting. Chloe. She ran up the stairs and to the bathroom where she found Chloe puking her guts out. 

“Chloe?”

————————————————————————————————————

“Chloe?”

Chloe’s mind started racing. Why was Brooke here. Could she just blame it on a stomach ache. No she should tell the truth. But can she. Oh god. Why her. 

“Oh hey Brooke....how are you”

“How you are is more important” 

“No”

“Come on Chloe lets get you cleaned up”

Chloe let Brooke grab her hand and walk her to her room. Brooke grabbed Chloe some pajamas. 

————————————————————————————————————

While Chloe was changing Brooke noticed some things. She noticed the way her ribs stuck out, she noticed her thigh gap, she noticed the way her friends collar bone was jutting out. Then something in her brain clicked. Chloe never ordered or ate much. She should have noticed sooner. Chloe has an eating disorder. 

“Hey Chloe”

“Yeah Brooke?”

“Do you have an eating disorder”

————————————————————————————————————

“Do you have an eating disorder”

Chloe jumped. Her eyes wide open. 

“Uh....wh....no..no I’m fine Brooke, honestly”

Brooke eyed her suspiciously but didn’t say anything else. 

————————————————————————————————————

Brooke knew when Chloe was lying. And Chloe was lying, lying about having an eating disorder. Brooke has known Chloe for years, she’s seen the side of Chloe that no one else gets to see. The side of Chloe that was prescribed medication, the side of her that has low self esteem, the part of Chloe that was fragile. Brooke knew Chloe would or used to punch herself until she bruised, luckily she wasn’t addicted to cutting anything though Chloe had burned herself a couple of times as well but luckily nothing scarred. But Chloe didn’t talk to her anymore, that should mean that all the past issues are done, at least she had always assumed they were. 

There was an awkward silence in the room and Brooke decided to break it after about six minutes.

“You know I can tell when you’re lying right”

“Stop being silly Brooke”

“How long has this been going on Chloe”

“My life is non of your business”

“I’m your best friend”

“You won’t be if you don’t shut up”

“Chloe eating disorders ar-“

“GET OUT. LEAVE.”

————————————————————————————————————

“GET OUT LEAVE” Chloe shouted. 

Brooke looked shocked but sadly stoop up grabbed her bag and headed to the door. She could talk to Chloe tomorrow. 

“You can always talk to me chlo”

“Get out of my house”

Chloe watched Brooke leave. Chloe just fucked up. Chloe wanted to die. Chloe got an idea, maybe she could fix this.


	2. Secret’s out

Chloe wasn’t at school on Monday.

Nobody noticed as much as Brooke did. Nobody tried texting Chloe as much as Brooke did. 

Brooke- Hey chlo where were u today

Brooke- Chloe please answer me

Brooke- Chloe I know your parents are gone for the week again 

Brooke- Chloe please take care of yourself 

Everyone else sent one text asking where she was. Chloe didn’t respond.

————————————————————————————————————

Chloe was laying in bed eyes red and puffy. She hadn’t moved in over 24 hours and she didn’t plan on moving yet. Not even the annoying ringing of her phone would get her to move. Her parents weren’t home so they couldn’t make her come downstairs for dinner, not that they would. Chloe hadn’t eaten. Chloe didn’t care. Chloe was slowly losing herself. 

————————————————————————————————————

Chloe wasn’t at school on Tuesday. 

Michael- Hey where are you  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
Jenna- Chlo where are u, people r starting to spread rumors about why ur gone.   
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
Rich- Yo where r u  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
Jeremy- uh hey how are you  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
Christine- Chloe this isn’t like you.   
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
Jake- Chloe last time you missed two days something happened with your parents, are you good?  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
Brooke- Chloe I’m worried about you. Are you okay?

Chloe didn’t answer on Tuesday. Chloe had other plans. She was busy thinking of what she would do. 

————————————————————————————————————-

Chloe still hadn’t eaten, she felt weak. She sat up and hesitantly looked at her phone. 

Missed calls:16  
Missed texts: 24

Tears threaten to fall as she dug her nails into her skin. It almost felt good. She dragged and pushed her nails down harder, cringing when they broke the skin. She sat in silence looking at the blood starting to appear on her arm. This felt good. This felt right. Chloe’s phone started ringing and she was horrified to see it was her “dad”. She hesitantly answered. 

“......”

“Why weren’t you at school”

“....I’m sick”

Chloe heard her dad mumble something to her mom. Her mom never talked to her anymore. 

“Chloe the school said that you’ve been gone since Monday.”

“Yeah I’m sick, I don’t want to get anyone else sick.”

“Your attitude is making me sick, I swear to god if I get a phone call from the school tomo-”

“I think I have to puke, bye”

“Don’t you da-“

She hit end call. 

She would’ve preferred her mom had called instead of that demon but her mom stopped talking to her a few years ago because Chloe was/is a disappointment. Why did her “dad” even care. He isn’t the one with a reputation to uphold, she is. But honestly Chloe would rather die than pretend to be bitchy right now. Tomorrow would be tricky, but it’s okay she can just make herself invisible. 

————————————————————————————————————

Chloe was at school on Wednesday but she didn’t look like Chloe. She wasn’t wearing any makeup,her hair was messy, she wasn’t smiling, she wasn’t herself. She had made herself invisible all day.

Everyone could tell something was wrong. 

But Michael was way ahead of them. It was hot today. Too hot for his sweatshirt and there Chloe was in sweatshirt with black jeans. She must’ve been boiling alive. Michael quickly pieced everything together. Sunken in face. Sweatshirt. Eye bags. Chloe wasn’t ok. 

Michael was the only person who had a bagged lunch so when everyone but Chloe got up to get lunch he made his move. 

“Hey Chloe”

“Oh...hey Michael”

“Ok I’m gonna cut to the chase. You’re in a sweatshirt on an unbelievably hot day. It’s so hot that I’m not even in a sweatshirt. And you look starved.”

“I’m fine”

“Chloe something is obviously wrong”

“Actually for your information I’m perfectly fine”

“Chloe you look like you’re about to pass out”

“Is that your way of letting me know I look like shit”

“Chloe!”

By this point everyone was heading back to the table. 

The second Jake saw Chloe He knew something was wrong, this was Chloe, the girl he dated for two/three years. He knew she was touchy with her feelings but he was honestly worried so he asked anyways. 

“Hey Chloe are you okay?” Jake asked. 

“Yeah Jake I’m fine, i’m going home”

Brooke grabbed Chloe’s arm tightly “Don’t leave”

The cringe of pain on Chloe’s face was very noticeable. Brooke was about to say something when Christine cut her off. 

“Chloe you don’t look good. Like you look ghostly and thin. Are you okay?”

“Again is this your way of telling me I look like shit”

Christine opened her mouth to reply but was cut off by Chloe. 

“Like I said I’m fucking fine let me go.”

When Brooke didn’t let go Chloe tried to tug her arm away she felt another burst of pain and everyone noticed. 

Brooke was the first to say something, “Chloe you look like you’re in pain, is your arm okay?”

Pieces were clicking together yet nothing made sense. This wasn’t the Chloe they knew. 

Rich looked Chloe straight in the eye and said, “Chloe is this what I think it is?”

Chloe said nothing. 

“Chloe you need to fucking tell me?”

Chloe remained silence.

“Chloe answer the fucking questi-“

“What is there to fucking say Rich. I’m a mistake, a screw up, I’m a monster.” Her eyes widened when she realized what she said but she still refused to break in front of them.

“Chloe what the fuck”

“Oh shocking the most popular girl in school is depressed and has problems.” She ignored their faces, words were leaving her mouth and she didn’t have the energy to stop them. 

“Chloe you still didn’t answer my question”

The lunch bell rang signaling that it was time for class. 

“Well I don’t know what you think it is rich....I’m leaving”

“Jake grab her”

Before Chloe knew it Jake had wrapped her in a hug. She wouldn’t call it a hug though. Rich slowly walked over. 

“Chloe you don’t need to be alone. Being alone just..hurts you more”he said quietly. “Please just what’s wrong”

“You’d be surprised at how imperfect I really am” She didn’t care about what she was saying anymore, she could easily end things for herself if she had too.

“Chloe can I see your arm”

Shit he figured it out her brain raced. 

To her horror “I don’t want your pity” is what left her mouth.

“Chloe”

“I don’t know why you insist on knowing about my quote on quote problems but I’ll have you know that there’s nothing there” she spat out. Shaking with anger still struggling to get out of Jakes grip.

“If there’s nothing there than why won’t you show us”

Chloe stopped trying to escape Jake, she had no response for that. She dropped her gaze to her feet. After a minute She lifted her gaze from her feet to notice that they were all looking at her, before anyone could say anything Chloe’s phone rang. Brooke retrieved the phone from Chloe’s bag. 

“It’s your dad Chloe”

Surprise surprise it was for dad. He wasn’t even her real dad. Yet she was still a mistake in his eyes. 

“Jake, Let go of me”

Jake just shook his head. When Chloe started to visibly panic. He gave up he knew better than to keep her from a phone call. He let her go but blocked her exit. Brooke handed the phone to Chloe. They all observed Chloe. 

Chloe answered the phone to be met with an angry voice.

“Chloe I told you to go to school”

“I am at school asshole”

They all stared at her. Listening closely to the other end. 

“You little shit, don’t talk to me that way. Now why the fuck did we get a notification saying you’re missing”

“I am at school. I’m just late to class because my friends aren’t letting me leave.”

“Doesn’t matter”

“Actually it does, why don’t you yell at them instead of me.”

“Don’t talk to your father that way”

“You aren’t my fucking father”

Chloe hung up before he said anything else. She noticed everyone staring at her. 

“What”

“Are you good Chloe ?” Jenna cautiously asked.

Chloe responded with a sarcastic “I’m just fucking great before pushing past Jake and walking away”

She was very aware that they were following her so the second she saw the bathroom she darted in locking herself in the stall. She had moved her sleeves a little just to shove her fingernails deep into her skin and scratched herself till she drew blood. She failed to notice that others had entered the bathroom until she heard Brooke softly asking if she was in there.

“Chloe please come out. This...this isn’t like you”

“Is anyone else in here?”

“Uh the girls”

“Get the fuck out....” Chloe said before quietly adding “Brooke...can..you stay”

After the other two left Brooke got Chloe to open the door.

Chloe reluctantly opened the stall door, forgetting that the bloody scratches on her arms were visible enough for Brooke to see them.

“Chloe....”

Chloe looked to where Brooke was looking...shit. She tugged her sleeves back down quickly. 

“Chloe what the fuck did I just see”

“Nothing brookie”

“Chloe....”

“I’m fine”

Brooke had started crying, “ but you’re not fucking fine are you, you can talk to me, I’m worried about you”

Chloe said a barely audible sorry

“Can I see”

“What..no”

“Chloe I already know they are there”

Chloe very reluctantly held her arms out to Brooke. Her thing ugly arms.   
Brooke was trying not to cry again, Chloe’s arms were red and scratched, covered in angry red welts, some were even bloody.

Brooke made eye contact with Chloe. Chloe looked so broken. “Chloe we need to tell the others”

Chloe was caught off guard by the comment but quickly responded with a no. 

“Chloe we need to at least tell someone.......Michael?”

“No”

“I’m not giving you a choice Chloe”

Chloe just glared at Brooke. Brooke got up and walked to the door and opened it to find them all staring right at her....they all pieced everything together.

“Michael get in here”

“Am I gonna get in trouble that’s the girls bathroom”

“We won’t let you get in trouble”

Brooke left the bathroom deciding that Michael should do this. Michael noticed Chloe’s arms right away. 

“Chloe can you tell me why you did this”

Before Chloe responded she got a text. A text from her Dad. 

Dad- We’re coming home since you don’t know how to go to school. 

Chloe didn’t respond but instead started crying.

Michael repeated his question. 

“I can’t tell you” Chloe said. “I need to go home Michael”

“Chloe tell me...please” he said gently placing a hand on his her shoulder. 

“If I tell you then you’ll just know how broken I really am”

“Chloe please”

Chloe’s crying got louder and without thinking she said, “I’m supposed to be the perfect popular girl. I can’t have problems. So this isn’t a problem,” she said referencing to her arms. “My eating disorder isn’t a fucking prob..lem.” Her eyes widened before hurriedly standing up. She avoided looking at Michael who’s mouth was agape his eyes widened. 

“Chloe come back.”

Chloe was already out the door. She ignored them yelling her name. Chloe left the school and went straight to her car. She knew going home would earn her a slap to the face but to be honest she rather deal with that than her friends. She was relieved to see the driveway was empty upon arrival. Once she was inside she closed the door and locked it. She went to the kitchen and opened the medicine cabinet. She had a nearly full bottle of pills since she rarely took her antidepressants because she never thought she needed them. But now she needed them and she didn’t plan on using them the intended way. 

After raiding the cabinet she went into her moms office and looked through the drawers until she found it. Soon she found the desired item, a small little box cutter. She also found an x-acto knife as well as an art knife. They all looked the same to her but her mom said otherwise. Her mom did art in college and had these buried away under her old dusty sketch books. She walked up stairs with the knifes and pills and went into her bathroom. She put everything on the counter and picked up the art knife which was really just a skinny version of the box cutter they owned. She took her sweatshirt off and sat on the edge of the bathtub not really knowing where to start. She took a deep breath before making the first cut. She hissed in pain. She opened her eyes and looked at the barely visible cut. This wouldn’t do. So she did it over and over until her arm looked like it was covered in paper cuts. Then came the pain. Tears squeezed out of her tightly shut eyes but soon the pain stopped. After putting her sweatshirt back on she hid everything in her mirror cabinet and went to her room. She’d clean her arm later. She closed her bedroom door behind her and went to her bed and fell asleep. But after an hour a loud voice woke her up. 

“CHLOE GET THE FUCK DOWN HERE”

She didn’t respond.


	3. Giving up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is long. I’m really bad at this. 
> 
> There is some strong language in this chapter as well as suicidal thoughts and self harm.

“CHLOE GET THE FUCK DOWN HERE”

She didn’t respond. 

“CHLOE I KNOW YOU’RE FUCKING HOME”

She knew what was coming as soon as she heard the loud angry footsteps coming up the stairs. Good thing she locked her door earlier.....shit.....that’s only gonna make him angrier. 

“CHLOE OPEN YOUR FUCKING DOOR

She got up from her bed and made her way towards the door. He was pounding on the door. Shit this is more angry than normal. The second she opened the door her face was met with one of the hardest slaps she had ever received. So hard she stumbled back, biting back tears as she brought her hand to her face. She stayed in her room the rest of the day quietly pulling at her hair trying not to cry. When dinner time came no one came to get her. Chloe reached into her sweatshirt pocket and grabbed her phone. 

50 missed calls.   
20 text messages. 

Shit. She was screwed. She hesitantly opened the messages. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx   
Brooke: Chloe please answer you’re phone.   
Brooke: Please I don’t want you to die.  
Brooke: Chloe you’re scaring me.  
Brooke: Chloe this isn’t funny.  
Brooke: I left you a voicemail please respond as soon as you can.   
Brooke: Please I love you.   
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Chloe’s eyes started to water. Did Brooke say I love you. Chloe told herself she meant it in a friend way. She wished being....not straight was easy. She preferred girls way more than guys. She still thinks some boys are cute but she wouldn’t date them. Maybe she was bisexual or a lesbian. No. She made her brain shut up. She told herself it was wrong. They would hate you. She closed the texting app and went to her missed calls. Most of them were from Brooke. She clicked on the play voicemail symbol and felt guilty listening to Brooke. 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx   
“Chloe....please don’t....I can’t live without you.....I don’t want to live without you....if you were gone I...I would...I would probably kill my self. I know that before our relationship was kinda toxic but...but you’ve gotten so much nicer. What makes you think you’re a monster......I never thought that....actually I really really li” the message was cut off. Was Brooke going to say she liked her. No Brooke could never feel the same way.   
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

She went back to messages and clicked on Michaels name. 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx   
Michael: Chloe let us help you.   
Michael: please....also you said something about an eating disorder.   
Michael: Chloe how long, why.   
Michael: Chloe please don’t skip school tomorrow.   
Michael: Brooke is really worried. Please answer our calls.   
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Next she clicked on Rich

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx   
Rich: Chloe you can’t keep doing this  
Rich: Trust me. Please. You don’t deserve this.   
Rich: please talk to someone, anyone, Brooke, Michael, me, our friends.  
Rich: It all comes back and bites you in the ass. So please try.   
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

She went through all the other messages 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx   
Christine: I know you didn’t want us to know but we don’t hate you. We don’t want to lose you.   
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx   
Jake: I know you always hated talking about your feelings and that you always thought you were fat but....shit...I’m so sorry I didn’t notice anything Chloe.   
Jake: I know about the eating disorder, Michael asked me if you did that while we dated and shit I realized that I payed zero attention half the time. I’m sorry.   
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx   
Jeremy: uh..you said you were a monster and even though the Halloween thing happened I don’t think you’re a monster....non of us think you’re a monster.   
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx   
Jenna: Chloe we’re here if you need us.  
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

She turned her phone off and tried to sleep. She couldn’t go to school tomorrow. She doesn’t care what her dad does. Her fake fucking dad. Her real dad left when she was too young to remember. Her mom remarried before she was to old to remember. She was always told that he was her dad. She found out by accidentally saying that her crush was a girl. She remembers it like it was yesterday. 

Flashback. 

“So Chloe do you like anyone” her mom had asked. 

“Yeah actually” Chloe said. 

“Who’s the lucky boy”

Chloe without thinking said, “Oh it’s not a boy”

A pair of firsts slammed down on the table. 

“WHAT ARE YOU A FAGGOT. IS THAT WHAT YOU ARE. YOUR MOM SHOULD’VE HAD A BOY.”

Chloe tried to respond “I...It’s probably just...a phase..”

“ IT BETTER BE. YOUR DAD LEFT BECAUSE EVEN HE KNEW YOU WOULD BE A FUCKING DISAPPOINTMENT”

“My...my dad.....but aren’t you..... I’m done eating, I’m going to my room.”

Once she was in her room she cried for hours. Repeatedly hitting herself. It wasn’t hurting herself if no one knew. 

“You can’t like girls. You can’t like girls. You can’t like girls. You can’t like....Brooke.” She kept quietly repeating it. 

She told a boy she liked him the next day. She got called a slut. She was fine.   
End of flashback 

She was 12 when that happened. She had never liked her mom and “dad” that much but finding that out fucking destroyed the relationship they had. She isn’t allowed to sit with them at dinner anymore. She can’t be in the house when any of her dads friends are over. He told her that he didn’t want to be embarrassed by a fag like her. She didn’t fall asleep until four am.

 

Chloe woke up at 5:30 am to her covers being ripped off the bed as her cut up arm was forcefully grabbed. That was gonna bruise. 

“Get ready for school”

Chloe couldn’t face her friends. They all knew. She might as well kill herself.

“I don’t feel good” she knew this was risky but she could care less.

“What” he was getting angrier.

“I’m not going” she felt a fist slam into her stomach. She could faintly hear him telling her to get ready. 

Chloe woke up in pain, her stomach hurt, her arm hurt, everything hurt. She tried to get up but fell back down due to pain shooting through her stomach. She carefully pulled her shirt up and saw a dark bruise. Then she remembered, she glanced at the time and found that she was late. She got up and staggered to her bed and grabbing her phone. 

Missed messages. Dad

She clicked on the text. 

“Dad”: Your mom and I are going on a two week business trip. When we get back you better not pull any bullshit because we have to leave for another week long trip. You know where the spare card is. Don’t fuck up.

Chloe gripped her phone tightly as tears squeezed out of her eyes. Why was she crying, she hated him. She stood up from her bed ignoring the pain and walked to the bathroom. She found her desired object and discarded her leggings on the floor before sitting down on the edge of the tub. She brought the blade down and swiped it across her thigh hissing in pain as it went deeper into her skin. She ignored the pain until she was left with two cut up bloody thighs. She didn’t bother putting anything away, besides it’s not like anyone was going to visit her. She discarded the rest of her clothes and got into the shower, it doesn’t hurt enough. She turned the water to its hottest setting. This is fine I deserve it was all she told her self. She noticed that her thighs were still bleeding so she grabbed her white towel and dried the blood. She got changed and grabbed a bottle of melatonin before making her way back to her room. 

Chloe went to her closet and dug out a belt. Once she found it she attached to the highest and strongest shelf in her closet. She told her it was there if she needed it. She closed her closet and walked to her bed where she took three melatonin dry. She closed her eyes and went to sleep, only to be awakened by a ringing doorbell a few hours later. 

She reluctantly got out of bed and made her way downstairs, completely forgetting the state she left her bathroom in. She could hear multiple voices through the door. The second the door was fully opened she was attacked with a group hug. She didn’t start panicking until a hand made contact with her bruised stomach. She let out a yelp of pain as she stumbled back. She looked up to see who attacked her with the hug and was met by the concerned faces of her friends. She opened her mouth to tell them to leave but instead a broken sob came out. Her breathing fastened, her levels of panic kept rising. It felt like her heart was slamming against her ribs. Their mouths were moving but there was no sound. 

She stumbled back before turning and running up her stairs and slamming her bedroom door behind her. She stumbled to her nightstand and grabbed the melatonin and dumped a handful into her hand before shoving them in her mouth. She went to swallow the dry pills but instead started to violently cough up the dry pills. She ignored the pounding on her door and opened her closet door before collapsing to her knees

————————————————————————————————————

Brooke chased after Chloe telling the others to stay put. 

“Is there anything we can do” Jenna asked from the back of the group.

“Just let me handle it. If I need anyone it will be Michael and if we need another person I’ll have Jake come up”

Before anyone could protest she turned and ran up the stairs right past Chloe’s bathroom straight to her bedroom door. As she approached Chloe’s door she could hear the sound of someone choking and violently coughing. 

“Chloe”  
“Chloe please”

When she didn’t get a response she opened the door. Only to be met by a sight that broke her heart. There Chloe was collapsed on to her knees violently coughing up dry melatonin in front of what appeared to be a makeshift noose. She wasted no time rushing to Chloe’s side.

————————————————————————————————————

Chloe hadn’t noticed Brooke’s presence until she was crouched by her side worriedly. She felt uncomfortable and ashamed as Brooke looked at her up and down before stopping at her thighs. What was Brooke looking at she asked herself as she looked down to her thighs. Then she saw it. Blood. Dry patches of blood covered her leggings. Chloe lifted her head until her eyes met Brooke’s. The second their eyes connected she broke. A sob escaped her throat as she moved her hands to cover her thighs, but soon her crying increased with the sobs getting louder. Her nail started to dig into her thighs and reopened some of the cuts. 

————————————————————————————————————

Brooke noticed the blood on Chloe’s thighs hoping it was a nightmare. Chloe’s reaction confirmed that it was actually real. She felt useless, her best friend was falling apart and she didn’t know how to help. Chloe had always been scared of being vulnerable, she said that if she was vulnerable she would lose all the people in her life and if there’s one thing about Chloe it’s that she’s scared of losing. 

Brooke was soon making eyes contact with Chloe, she could see Chloe’s facade breaking. Then she started to sob, she also started to dig her nails into her thighs. 

“Chloe is it okay if I hug you?”

————————————————————————————————————

“Chloe is it okay if I hug you?”

Chloe didn’t respond but instead threw herself into Brooke’s arms trying to cling desperately to her friend. God it hurt. Everything hurt. 

“It hurts Brooke”

“I know”

“Brooke it hurts so much”

“I know” Brooke said pulling her closer 

“Why won’t you just let me die I’m a fucking mons-“

“DO YOU EVEN REALIZE HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME, I LOVE YOU, I DONT EVEN THINK I COULD LIVE WITHOUT YOU”

“I’m sorry”

“No I’m sorry I shouldn’t have yelled”

They sat in each others embrace for a few more minutes before Brooke adjusted the position so she could reach her phone. She went to contacts and clicked Michaels name. 

“Get up here now”

——————————————————————————————————————-

Micheal was talking with Jake about Chloe. 

“What do you know about her.”

“I don’t know what I’m allowed to say. She said if I ever went in to details about her parents that she would make my life a living hell. “

“If her parents come up in conversation and she won’t talk about it with me or Brooke then either me or Brooke will send you a text. Okay.”

“Okay man”

Michael felt his phone buzz, he pulled it out before putting it away and getting up.

“Any news” Christine asked quietly. 

“I’m about to go find out”

The walk to Chloe’s room was anxiety inducing, the closer to her door he got the more could hear Chloe saying she wanted to die and Brooke telling her why she needs to stay alive. 

When he opened the door he was shocked to see Chloe collapsed in Brooke’s arms on the floor softly sobbing, surrounded by coughed up melatonin. He also got even more concerned when he noticed the makeshift noose in the closet. He slowly approached the two before crouching down next to Brooke. Chloe’s head currently buried in Brooke’s yellow sweater so he wasn’t sure Chloe noticed him yet. Brooke’s eyes looked with his own before noticing she was trying to point a finger at Chloe’s thighs. He looked down to see small patches of blood covering her leggings. He felt tears start to form but quickly pushed them back down. How did Chloe...the person who used to be a complete bitch go from before confident to being....this. But then again maybe her being confident was all an act to begin with, after all everyone has problems. He just didn’t expect Chloe to be the kind of girl to starve and cut herself. 

“Hey Chloe” he said softly trying not to startle her

Her sobbing immediately stopped and her body froze. He looked at Brooke who was already whispering into Chloe’s ear to tell her it was just Michael. Chloe’s tear stained face pulled away from the comfort of Brooke’s sweater to look at Michael. 

“Hey it’s ok, trust me” he said crouching down so that h3 was at eye level with Chloe.

“I-I’m s-s-s-so-rry” god she sounded so hurt. 

“Hey you don’t need to apologize”

He slowly adjusted his position so that he was sitting cross cross applesauce and decided to ask about the squip. 

“I know it’s a touchy subject but did your squip tell you anything that made this worse before we got rid of them”

Chloe’s eyes looked away as she mumbled something. 

“Chloe speak up a little okay? It’s ok I’ve got you” Brooke said. 

“..my-my squip wa-as......me”

“What did she say”

“I do-on’t se-e-e what-t tha-at ha-s to-to do with-h this”

“So the squip didn’t cause any of this to get worse”

“It didn’t need to, it said that I’m incompatible with everyone and just listed all the reasons I should die.........”she mumbled something else at the end. 

“Ok Chloe can you speak up.”

“She told me I ruined my friendship with Brooke. She told me I made Jake want to die. She told me all these things and every time I look into a mirror I can hear her. I can’t look into a mirror without seeing her there mocking my existence.”

Michael looked at Brooke with a shocked expression. She also looked shocked which must’ve meant she never knew about Chloe’s squip. Then he remembered why he came up here. 

They should probably clean off her cuts. He tapped Brooke on the shoulder signaling at her to tilt her head so he could whisper to her. He scoot closer to Brooke and whispered into her ear asking if she could convince Chloe to let him clean them off. He was trying to ignore the look of fear on Chloe’s face as he whispered to Brooke. 

————————————————————————————————————

Brooke didn’t want to let go of Chloe but Michael was right they had to clean hose cuts. 

“Hey Chloe, can you do something for me” she whispered softly 

“...w..ha..t” came a small broken voice

“Can Michael just take a look at your thighs, make sure that nothings infected”

“W..h.at” Chloe looked horrified.

“Hey I’ll go with you ok, I’ll be right by your side”she was hoping Chloe would say yes. 

“Yo-u pr-promise”

“Yeah”

Chloe took a deep breath before responding with a barely audible yes.

Michael let go of a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding. He didn’t expect her to agree. He felt someone tap his shoulder, that someone was Brooke. 

“Hey..Michael”

“What”

“Can you turn around”

“Oh yeah”

“Thanks”


End file.
